Teh Easter Bunneh
by Ohgodno
Summary: The Easter Bunny is just a bunnyeared girl, and when visiting Cephiro, is mistaken for Mokona. Chaos ensues. Slight Character bashing of the Fuu variety and general hate of the FuuxFerio relationship.


**Teh Easter Bunneh**

**Happy Easter to everyone. Despite the fact it's pure commercialism. But I love chocolate so much, I don't care.**

**Also. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! (Aka Hyperlink/Mokhiniso)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Though I would own Clef but I was sadly outbid on eBay by CLAMP. Tragic, I know.**

Daylight dawned on the poor, unsuspecting residents of Cephiro. Little did they know as they lay sleeping in their beds that today would affect the way they perceived life _forever_… Or at least alter it in some way, shape or form.

Well, that's what our heroine hoped anyway. She had been selected to be this years Easter Bunny by the Great Thief Council. There's much more to being a Great Thief than stealing people and things, there was community service, so to speak, that had to be fulfilled. But Jade didn't like that, it made her sound like a criminal, though technically, she was. But for some reason, the Council took pleasure is making poor, little Jade do all the community work, she had already been Angel Gabriel and Cupid this year, the council claimed that people liked Jade because of her 'English charm'. She adjusted her bunny ears, knowing that they were just gonna fall off at some point during her visit to Cephiro.

Little did Jade know that there were more Earthlings currently visiting Cephiro, of course, Jade obviously knew that the Magic Knights would all be there, all sleeping in the same bed, blissfully unaware of events to come. But no, these were Earthlings of the English speaking variety. One spoke with a Southern American (as in the South of North America) and the other, well the other sounded like a farmer. An English farmer, to be precise. Their names: Narri and Kelly, respectively. Of course, their purpose here is not significant and their presence does not deepen the non-existent plot, at all. But they had their role, all they had to do was find Ferio and… keep him busy, so that he will not appear for the rest of this piece of fiction and thus the lovely authoress will not degrade herself and end up writing a Fuu-Ferio fic, or a Clemi for that matter, but Clef will have to appear for he is the love object of both the lovely authoress and our heroine.

Jade was well and truly within the palace, making her way to what were the dormitories (or so she hoped), she sang at the very top of her lungs, the lyrics to 'Nancy Boy' in a very strange opera style, causing the kitchen staff and a few maids and butlers to walk out on to the corridor and stare it the bunny-eared loon.

"She has ears like Mokona"

"Maybe it's Mokona in a human form"

"I always thought Mokona was male"

"What's a nancy boy?"

But Jade was unable to hear this due to her terrible singing and continued to make her way to what she hoped were the dormitories. But obviously, they were not the dormitories, unfortunately (or from Jade's point of view – very fortunate) it was infact the Guru's study, despite the fact jade had no business within the study, and poked her nose in just about everything there, the Harry Potter long books; the never ending scrolls; the intricate ornaments and a rather odd glowing thing, as Jade put it.

The Guru woke, he could sense something moving in his study, after forcing himself out of his bed and doing all the usual morning activities. He eventually made his way down to his study, unsuspecting of the sight that was to meet his eyes.

"Mokona?"

Jade spun to where the voice came from, only to discover it was her beloved little Clef. Jade was indecisive whether to make a run for it or throw herself at the Guru.

"Mokona? Is that you?" Clef inquired again. Jade just stood there gawping, open mouthed, how could anyone think she was Mokona. After an awkward minute of silence, Jade spoke.

"Why yes I am" Jade tried to say in a convincing tone.

"How strange. I always presumed you were male." Clef mused to himself

"Well, obviously, I'm not. I'm a lady!" Jade beamed.

"Prey tell, when you were the creator, why was your voice deep and male sounding?" Clef questioned. Jade was caught out, she had to think… and fast.

"I'm gender confused?" Clef shrugged, it must have been a good enough answer for him. "So…" Jade moved over to the desk and picked up her basket, which she had set upon the table moments before. Jade reached into her basket. "Care for an Easter egg?"

After this event occurred, the Cephirian canon characters were gathered around a long table, eating their morning meal. But Ferio wasn't there, the residents weren't too sure where he had disappeared to, and to be honest Fuu didn't care, out of character as it may seem, Fuu and Ferio are currently going through a lover's tiff, and quite basically need to get over themselves and make up. **(I really, REALLY don't like Fuu)** Hikaru was the first to speak.

"Has anyone seen Mokona?" Hikaru chirped

"Yes, she was in my study before" Clef answered in between mouthfuls of whatever he was eating.

"She? Isn't Mokona a guy?" Umi imputed from the other end of the table.

"That's what I though also, until she came into my study, taking on a human form." The residents gasped. A human Mokona? What was the world coming to?

"But the creator has a deep voice" said Presea.

"I also thought that, Mokona claims she's… gender confused…"

"How can anyone be gender confused? You're either a girl or a boy" Hikaru said bubbly. Lantis sighed and the table fell silent.

"I'll explain it when you're older…" Said Umi, quietly.

Since Jade was a crafty Mokona impostor, Jade was leaning against the door of the dining room and was listening to everything they all said. Seeing this as her moment, Jade pushed the doors open and entered the room in an ever so dramatic way as only she could.

"HI!" Jade bellowed, beaming. The residents just stared, open mouthed.

"Mo… mo… Mokona? Is that really you" Hikaru looked like she was about to burst into tears but instead ran over and glomped the supposed Mokona.

"Hikaru, please. I have to breathe…" Jade was choking from Hikaru's death grip.

"I'm so sorry Mokona!"

"It is nice to see you Mokona-san, but I never suspected that you'll look like a Westerner, and your Japanese has an English accent." Said Fuu, in that Fuu-ish way of hers. Jade laughed nervously.

"Well, you know, I like to travel and I just love those English people. Especially their musical taste and fashion…"

"Then why are you wearing a Gothic Lolita skirt?" Jade had to admit, it was _rather_ Gothic Lolita after all, but she bought it from Affleck's, which happened to be in Manchester, which was in England... And why was Fuu asking all these questions anyway? Was she suspicious? Would this mean that Narri and Kelly will actually add something to the plot after all? Jade continued to smile geekily and held out her basket.

"Easter egg?"

The residents just sat there even more confused then they were to start off with.

"What's an Easter egg, suga?" asked Caldina. Jade was _about_ to speak when…

"Easter? That's a religious holiday back on Earth… But we don't celebrate it in Japan, that's our country, by the way…" Fuu was now rambling. "It's traditionally a Christian holiday when they celebrate the death and resurrection of their religious figure head, Je-"

"Wait, hang on, why would Mokona, a being of _Cephiro_ celebrate a holiday of _Earth_?" asked Clef.

"Frig" Jade made a run for it, well as fast as she could run in heeled boots, not only that, but she had short legs which did not help in times like these. Not like they've ever helped in other circumstances. Maybe Jade should have told the truth… Or at least stayed put and made up a convincing lie. But no, she was now fleeing, and continued to do so until she tripped over her own feet. Now lying on floor, Jade had to formulate a plan. If Fuu never said anything, none of this would have happened. Jade wanted revenge… and a change of shoes.

"I'm so confused" stated Hikaru "Was that really Mokona after all?"

"It doesn't seem so. It must have been an impostor!" The residents gasped. What was the world really coming to? "He must have been kidnapped!" declared Umi. Hikaru broke into uncontrollable tears. Fuu tried to comfort her.

"Why would anyone kidnap Mokona?" asked Ascot

"Well, obviously, Mokona is a very powerful being. And in the wrong hands, Mokona could bring the total destruction of all worlds" Clef replied, matter of factly.

"Apocalypse... How many of them have we almost seen?" said Presea, trying to lift the mood.

"She must have done it" said Umi "The seemingly English girl"

"She's right. I'll gather the troops and we'll search every bit of Cephiro if we have to" said Lafarga.

"For now, we should stick to looking around the palace. Agreed?" said Clef

"Agreed" replied everyone else, simultaneously.

Jade did not get too far until she was venturing down a corridor and then, she spotted Narri, sat outside a door, leaning against the wall. Narri didn't particularly notice Jade's presence.

"Heya Narri!" Said Jade. Narri looked up.

"Hi Jadey!" Narri replied, the beloved authoress shot herself in the foot, she would have to allocate a purpose to the two English speaking Earthlings, who were not Jade, obviously.

"And just why are you sat out here?" Jade asked.

"Oh well, Kelly is busy…" Narri said, shuddering. Jade didn't look too surprised, to be honest, Kelly had affairs left, right and centre.

"Deary me, don't we have a rather strange relationship?" Said Jade, sitting beside Narri.

"Oh no, it's _perfectly_ sane and normal" said Narri, who was dripping with sarcasm.

"I love you Narri" Jade beamed.

"Jade. I have told you before and I will tell you again. I **will not** form a love triangle with you and Kelly" Narri looked homicidal, ah the joys of homophobes, they're so easy to tease.

"Now why would I want to do that? I was just establishing our nice, happy, platonic friendship" Jade continued to beam. If Narri was in an anime, she would have fallen over, but then she remembered, she was in an anime after all, so she fell over, sweatdropping, though technically it was a manga for Presea and Eagle are ALIVE and there isn't one bit of Clemi. Except for _that_ scene, the lovely authoress claims that Umi was hormonal and thus confused, she loves Ascot, you fools. "Anywhat, it's not like I have anything better to do…" Jade paused "Wait. I have… I have several angry Cephirians after me!"

"What have you done now!"

"WELL. I was mistaken for a humanised Mokona and so I played along and then they figured me out and now they're trying to kill me!"

"Only you could do that, Jadey, only you…" Narri sighed.

"This is all Fuu's fault, yanno." Jade paused again. "I need to have my revenge" The lovely authoress stopped. She then hit her head on the computer desk for she has made her self-insert into an evil being. She then considered that this was very much the case in real life and thus continued on.

"Oh…"

"Aha! I'll go disappear off and you say that I'm in that room, when the mob arrives, obviously." Jade continued to beam even more so "It's going to be the end of all Fuu-Ferio fics as we know it. Thus writers will have to get original and write… Ascot and Clef fictions…" Jade cackled, as only she could, but alas, Jade was too late, the Magic Knights were already running down the corridor.

"Stop right there! You Mokona-napper!" yelled Hikaru, striking a pose.

"What? I didn't kidnap Mokona…" Jade turned to Narri for help. Narri just shrugged in reply. "Damn you"

"Please return Mokona-san immediately" said Fuu, in her Fuuy way, if she wasn't a canon character, she would be dead by now. Our heroine was done for, all three Magic Knights had summoned their swords, unfortunately (or fortunately, for all you sexy readers) Jade was going to die. Maybe Jade should of dropped to her knees and begged for forgiveness, but no, she slowly reached for the handle of what she presumed would be Ferio's room and opened the door to reveal the true horror within.

"Fish!"

"What the hell?" Jade stared blankly.

"Jadey! Don't curse!" Narri chided, still sat against the wall, unphased by the true horror within.

"Why, it seems that Ferio and this girl are playing a mere card game, 'Jadey'-san…" said Fuu, matter of factly, Fuu had to do a double-take… "…with Mokona-san!"

"Have I just missed something? What's going on!" queried Ferio's card playing partner.

"Jade's causing havoc, chaos and destruction" Narri chipped in, from the other side of the wall.

"Puu!" Mokona declared, happily.

"Mokona beat us again!" Ferio wailed in disbelief that he had his ass kicked by a rabbit thing, again.

"I guess it must be a perk of being a Holy Creator… Mad Fish skills…" replied Kelly.

"Well, I guess this means that you're innocent 'Jadey'-san… Or is it Jade?" said Fuu.

"It's Jade" Jade gave the Magic Knights an 'I-told-you-so' look. "That's it. I'm going home!" And so she went, yes, just like that. Well not quite, she took a slight detour and tried to take Clef back with her, Narri and Kelly prised Jade off him claiming that 'he would not last a day on Earth' and that she was quite rightly taken. There was a valuable lesson to be learnt here, wearing bunny ears whilst on a visit to Cephiro could cost you your life. But there is a more important lesson to be learnt here, sexy readers, if Jade had got out of bed when her alarm first sounded, all of this could of easily avoided. But alas, she did not, and she paid her price. Everyone carried on with their lives, quite happily, except for those Cephirians, who had absolutely no idea what was going on, but never mind. For they'll learn in time for next year.

**OH DEAR GOD! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?**

**I suck. That sucked. It really, really sucks. So… fare thee well**


End file.
